Is Anyone Really Out There?

HELLO!?!?!? 

If you are out there- PLEASE comment!!!!!  I feel like I'm writing to no one- in which case- maybe I should just quit writing and keep pinning things on Pinterest!  :)  #pinterestobsessed

Nighty night :)

Midweek Confessions

I've joined Ashley at The Pollock Potluck for midweek confessions.  I'm going to try to do this each week!  

1. So I may have cheated a teeny bit on my sugar sweep yesterday- and God told me that my punishment was an immediate stomach ache!  Shame on me...
2. I may have had a dance party with my daughter when no one was looking.  Burning calories people, burning calories!
3. I'm CRAZY addicted to carbs- I've decided.  Not eating sugar is SOOOOOOO hard!
4. I wish I could get rid of the plastic mounds of crap that invade my family room.  I need less stuff and a bigger house.
5. I think about looking beautiful A LOT more than I do anything about it.... we can hope and wish, right?

Make it Monday (on Tuesday!)

I've decided to team up with Ashley at the Pollock Potluck and do a Make it Monday post!
I didn't want to spend a lot of money on Father's Day, because we both get a lot of the things that we want- but I wanted to make it memorable.  Our kids are really the reason we get to celebrate these special days, so I wanted to give Eric a gift from the kids.  So- with letters painted by Mackenzie- and a photo session at the park, here's what we came up with:

 

I'm happy with how it turned out.  It started with these photos:

I tried to get one with the letters spelled out- but Mason was DONE.  So- this was the best we had:

Our Father's Day was nice.  Eric has to work on the weekends- so we didn't get to see him all day, but we went out to dinner with both grandparents:

Mason getting ready to go!

With Mimi and Poppy!

With Lita and Lito!

Family shot!

Diva!

Mason- 7 Months

Oh, Mason- I can't believe 7 months (and 8 days) have passed since you joined our little family!  You are the most happy, chubby, roll-filled, boy.  You are crawling (backwards only!) and you love your exersaucer.  Mackenzie absolutely loves making you laugh (how do you think we got this awesome shot of you?  You are so big, and I can't wait to see how you use your height to your advantage in the future (intimidating Mommy and Daddy better be out of the picture!).  You still love to eat (anything!)  and you sleep through the night.  We try to give you the nightcap bottle between 10-11 to keep you down until 8:00 or so (did I mention that you like to eat?)  I always struggle with taking your pictures on time, but the seven month pictures will be up soon!  Your laugh is hilarious- almost like a gasp for air.  I love watching you when we're out in the wind.  You can't catch your breath and you get all flustered.  It's so cute.  You are such a fun, mommy-loving boy. 

A little teary-eyed.

So, during my precious time alone today (also known as naptime), I spent a few minutes on pinterest (cause who doesn't love to put off the 5,000+ things they should be doing?) only to find that a friend had posted a link to this book.  That lead me to this blog.  Be sure you have a few minutes and some tissues around.  Woah.  Kudos to Matt for raising his little Madeline on his own.  But then again, what if you had no choice?  What a horrible scenario.  I'm beginning to think it's time to buy a Kindle so I can read the bazillion books on my reading list (including this one).

Although I love a good cry (those of you who know me know that I HATE to cry in front of people), I always read blogs like this and feel guilty.  I feel guilty that I have it better than others.  I feel guilty that I get caught up in the materialistic views.  I feel guilty that I don't love my kids enough.  I feel guilty that I spend more time at work than at home.  I feel guilty that I don't enjoy life enough.  Every day, I feel like I should live here, instead of here.  There's nothing bad about the big, lavish lifestyle, but I feel like I get caught in the hustle and bustle of it all. 

So- again- I'm stuck- where do we go from here?  How can I practice being grateful, not worrying about money as much, not worrying about THINGS as much?  How can I appreciate my kids more?  That.  May.  Take. Time.    I wish I were more patient!

Sugar Detox Begins Tomorrow!

Well, here we go.  Tomorrow, I will begin my sugar detox.  I gave up caffeine a week ago.  Day 1 was absolutely, positively AWFUL.  Not only was it the final three days of school, but I was up most of the night preparing gifts and my end of the year movie for my students.  Not fun.  My migraine lasted most of the day and evening.  By Day 2, thankfully, the headache had gone, but I was dragging, after two nights without much sleep, I really needed coffee or a Diet Coke.  By Day 4, I really didn't miss it.  I know that caffeine is going to be much easier to cut out than all of the other crap I eat.  I also was able to get by not indulging in a soda by eating something else, especially sweets.  I don't know what I'll do without both.  So, here goes nothing.  I'm sure there will be many posts about how miserable I am, but hopefully it will jump start some healthy eating!!!!

How Do We Do It?

How do you keep moving when you're exhausted, irritable and you feel like you can't keep going? I think you just have to deal. It's so much easier said than done, but eventually the pain will life, the sleep will come and things will get done. That's the only way I know- but every once in awhile, I get this feeling-bad-for-myself cloud stuck over my head when I'm really absorbed and I feel like the only person on the planet who has tried to take on all that I do. Of course, I do realize that I have voluntarily signed up for everything I have been dealt. I agree to be a working mom, to take on extra responsibilities at work, to have two beautiful kids (even if one doesn't sleep!) and try to keep the homes you see in magazines. Unfortunately, the last usually drops of the priority list along with sleep, but you see the point. Some days, you just don't.know.how.to.start.

So, today was definitely one of those days. Our school has had state tests for the last two weeks, and finished with report cards and conferences this week. To end the week, our team held a read-a-thon sleep over for the one hundred fifth graders we teach (yes, you read right- 100!) It was awesome, but required so much planning and time I think my husband wants to kill me. I'm also on the negotiations committee for our current employment contract and the meetings are long and mentally straining. After getting about 5 hours of sleep on Friday night (on a deflated air matress) I came home at 9:00 on Saturday morning to two bouncy-kids who were ready to run a marathon! All I wanted to do was crawl under the covers. I was okay mentally, but physically, I was dying for a few more hours of shut eye. Thankfully, my mother in law forced me to sleep for one additional hour before we prepared to drive an hour and half to a baby shower. I usually love family events and fun, but yesterday, it was everything I could do to keep my eyes open. I felt like I was being rude, no matter how hard I tried not to. I left and kept my eyes on the road during the commute home and crashed and burned by 8:30 last night.

I begged Mason to sleep- even if only for four hours in row, but somehow, he found a way to wake up at 11:00, 1:30, 3:00 and 5:30. Good times. I know babies are babies. I know the mommies with teenagers (or even older children) will tell you to cherish those moments- but when you're tired, you're bitter, and annoyed. I felt frustrated. With myself, with my baby, with my craptastic job of being a good mom. How do you sit a chair and rock at 3:00 am when you're beyond exhausted and soak in those moments? So, I awoke (barely) this morning to feeling hungover, annoyed and stressed out. My agenda included lesson plans, grocery shopping, cleaning out closets and maybe a walk. I have accomplished none of that. Thankfully, my mom agreed to take my duo for an hour and I got a massage. Hell yes! I do feel better- a lot actually, because right before I left, I was reading one of my favorite blogs, Momastery. Glennon asked her Monkies to read a post. Ya know how you read posts like this and automatically feel like a jerk? Yes- I do. But then I realized that I'm not a jerk, because I am lucky. I just need to take time in my hectic, self-imposed schedule to smell the roses. I am lucky I am alive. I am lucky to have two kids. I am lucky they are healthy. I am lucky to have a job. I am lucky to have a husband. I am lucky to have a house. I am lucky I can do what I want and choose to create a busy schedule for myself. So even though I feel overwhelmed, I need to remember how lucky I am.

We are all so lucky.