The Reason I Don't Have My Make It Monday Post Finished...

is because of this. 

It's 10:30 and she's now doing this.   Still not sleeping but it's better than screaming.  I wish Daddy was home tonight :(

Hope the sleep Gods are kind to me tonight.  :)

On the plus side (or the minus), the scale is back on the downward spiral.  Buh-bye fat clothes.  Hello fit and trim Mommy!  (I refuse to say bikini- because with the way my stomach looks, I don't know if I'll wear one every again without some special man-made intervention).

Nighty night (I hope!) 

But soon- you will see my Make it Monday all finished- it has something to do with this! 

It's Not What It Seems...

Being a new mom is like college all over again.  Lots of learning about each other, drinking (milk), partying all night, and certainly NOT sleeping.  

I've been thinking a lot lately about parenting and being a mom.  Everyone knows it's not easy work, but no one knows it until you LIVE it.  And as soon as you're not living it, you forget.  This mom blogger, accurately explains things that no one says about life after birth.  Props to someone who actually wrote down what everyone was thinking.  I really hate how there are 5,000 books about pregnancy and what it's like to be pregnant. 

There are so many things that I would hope someone knows when they get pregnant.  For some people, it may change their view on pregnancy, or motherhood.  Most, it wouldn't change anything, but it would make DAMN sure for those moms to know they're not alone at 3:00am when it's dark, quiet, and they're utterly exhausted.  Here are a few things I wish someone would have told me....

10 Thoughts on pregnancy and newborns:

1.  Stretch marks are awful.  And they fade, but they don't go away.

Image from: http://howtogetridof-stretchmarks.net/

 Let's be honest.  This chick has an awesome stomach- EXCEPT for those stretch marks.  Yup- just accept them as a sign of mommyhood- unless you're willing to pay to get them lasered off (which I'm totally doing after I have my 4th child and my tummy tuck and I become my size 6 self again).  It's like people who lose several hundred pounds.  No matter how hard you work, you can't get rid of that skin- and in this case, no matter how rockin' your abs are- those stretch marks are your red badge of courage.  As much as I look at my stretch marks and cringe- here's a good way of looking at it:

2.  Please don't eat for two.  Okay, maybe once in awhile eat for two- but DON'T do it every day.

 Why do people tell you that?  It's all fun and games to eat whatever you want for the ENTIRE time- until that cute cherub comes out- and you still look like there are triplets stuck inside.  Not only will people wonder why the baby sucked all of the beauty out of you- but you'll feel bad about yourself- which will lead to #6 even sooner!


3.  Your house will be messy.  Get over it.

 You're not going to be able to do it all.  Your baby should be your main priority.  If you don't have help for the house or the baby- then you shouldn't have anyone in your house to judge you either!  I promise- no one cares about the dishes, laundry, or bed being made.  You'll be grateful if your sheets are covered in pee, poop or breastmilk.  I promise a shower does a lot more for the soul than a clean house.  Paper plates are helpful- and a mom, mother in law, or neighbor (or a husband with OCD- but I wouldn't know).

4.  You will probably wear maternity clothes home from the hospital.  Yuck.

 It's so not fair that you work so hard for nine months to grow this baby, give up your body (and alcohol, caffeine, bad habits, etc.) and you go home looking less than stellar.  Best advice ever- shower as soon as you feel up to it after the birth.  It'll make YOU feel a lot better.  With both of my kids- I was in the shower within 4 hours.  It made me feel awesome.  You'll feel clean enough to sleep, and greet the 4,000 guests that you can't stand really want to see in your hotel hospital room. 

5.  Breastfeeding is NOT easy (and if it is, you are SUPER lucky!)

If you are a momma who had a great first experience with breastfeeding, you are one of the lucky ones.  As someone who has dealt with mastitis twice in the 12 weeks I breastfed my first, I know it sucks. There are some nights when you just hope and pray that Daddy, grandma, auntie, the trash mad, ANYONE would wake up and feed your baby.  When you are breastfeeding- it's not an option- even if someone does get up- you have to get up and pump- fun fun!  Like milking your own personal cow!

6.  You are bound to have one nervous breakdown in the first 10 days home (only one if you're lucky).

Just know that this is okay.  And normal.  With baby #1- it was in the doctor's office when the pediatrician asked how breastfeeding was going.  The problem was that it was absolutely awful.  And I felt like I should have known what I was doing.  So, I cried.  A lot.  And anyone that knows me knows I don't cry.  Good times.  The doctor sent me home, instructed my husband to send me to bed for a good nap, and to call the lactation consultant to help.  Thank.god.for.her.  If not- I may have been playing in traffic that evening. 


7.  I call the first three weeks the honeymoon.  After that, you're just exhausted, your help leaves and life becomes your new normal- except it's not- for you anyway.

In the beginning- everyone is there to help.  And when you first come home, your baby tricks you into thinking he/she sleeps.  Disclaimer:  Your baby hasn't really been born yet.  By the end of week 1, then you'll know more of what he/she is like.  By week 2, you'll understand that babies have NO idea what night/days are and are sure that you certainly enjoy being awake when everyone else isn't.  This is when you cry/scream/beg your baby to please.sleep.for.more.than.five.minutes.  And to please stop breaking out of that swaddle.  And to PLEASE learn how to keep that pacifier in their mouth.  Thank God for this.  Saved me SOOOOOO much heartache with #2.

8.  It's okay not to know what to do.  Or what the baby wants.

You have to take time to learn from each other.  It's like you're shoved into a new house with roommates. Sometimes, you see the grunts, looks, faces, screams, and you have NO idea what that means.  Despite the moms that swear they know on Day #3 that their baby is hungry/wet/gassy, rest assured that they have NO clue either.  They're totally lying. 


9.  Babies sometimes cry- just because.

And you can cry too. They don't know why their crying too.  Plus, since they've just made their exit from your body, they're probably hormonal too.  

10.  You will be VERY jealous of your husband- or anyone else who gets to leave the house alone for several hours- for awhile. 

I know this seems like an oxymoron.  Why would you be jealous of your husband who gets to go to WORK?  Because work involves being ALONE.  QUIET.  ADULT INTERACTION.  SHOWERING.  GETTING DRESSED.  When you go to work- chances are, you won't be pooped on.  You will be able to discuss something of importance with another adult.  You will be able to leave your home for more than a walk to the mailbox.  Yup- let's be honest.  You'll be able to PEE ALONE. 

Midweek Confessions

Make sure you visit ASHLEY and E to see their midweek confessions!

I confess:

• I have researched EVERY diet strategy over the last week when I should have been doing grad work.
• I was super excited to do something different on Tuesday (go to work!) and drop my kids off at the babysitter.
• I am secretly liking working out again.  uhoh.
• Shouldn't I be working out instead of pinning?
• I secretly love cleaning/organizing my kids' closets.
• If my body wouldn't be COMPLETELY destroyed, I'd totally consider getting pregnant again- SERIOUSLY did I just say that?!?!?  My husband will KILL me if he knew this.

•  I love pinning food that is bad for you just as much as I pin exercise quotes and workouts. 

Justified.

Saw this link today while looking around online.  Makes me feel even more validated!  But- my little psycho girl who was hitting, kicking, scratching and bed wetting last night is spending the weekend with her grandparents.  And of course, five minutes after she left I wanted her back!  Ugh.  The grass is always greener.  We had a nice lunch with my mother in law at Talula's Table in town and went to the farmer's market.  A nice way to spend a steamy hot Friday afternoon.  Miss my love bug- even if she isn't always lovey! 

How can you not miss this crazy kid?!

Losing it.

Funny how this title accurately describes how I feel tonight, yet only makes me think of this book.

photo courtsey of amazon.com

I loved reading it.  I never thought I would have anything in common with Valerie Bertinelli, but I guess so!  Tonight- I thought I was going to lose it.  I had a great morning- Mason woke up early, I fed him and he went back down.  Mackenzie slept until 10:30!  I got tons of work done.

For lunch, we went to one of my student's houses.  As I got ready, Mackenzie mentioned that she wanted to stay in Mason's crib to play with him.  I indulged her.  How wrong.

That would be my sweet little Mason's face.

Seriously- before you call CYF- PLEASE LISTEN!  I didn't do it!  I was in the bathroom trying to apply deodorant (did I ever finish doing that?) and I heard Mason scream.  I turned the corner into his room to see MacKenzie smacking the crap out of him.  Yikes!  I went and grabbed him, and I found them.  Poor baby.  He sobbed for a good ten minutes.  It was like the devil arrived.  So- needless to say, we were a few minutes late to lunch.

Lunch went well for the most part.  Mackenzie was shy and didn't want to play with the other kids- but eh.  Whatever.  At least she didn't kill anyone!  When we got home, it was far past nap.  I couldn't stop thinking about how said Mom and I discussed how hard it is to have kids and raise them right (she obviously has a lot more experience- 4 girls- oy vey!).  Everyone always discusses how hard it would be to be pregnant, how much weight you gain, labor, birth, etc. but never really how hard it is AFTER the baby is born.

I honestly don't know if I ever really suffered with post partum depression, but I was never diagnosed.  Diagnosed with anything or not- it's still hard.  Some days, you are just DONE.  Over.  Cooked.  Exhausted.  Crazy.  Mental.  Psychotic.  Whatever you want to call it.

so true!

Trying to keep things in perspective is hard.  Trying to remember that every day will not be your smiling, skinny self holding an adorable baby or toddler, sipping Crystal Light and strolling through the garden to pick your veggies for dinner.   Sometimes, you are just. done.

I love that this image is from thejoyfulmotherclub.com

And that's okay! Thank GOD for social media- I vent.  Especially when I feel alone.  Or especially when I feel like my husband doesn't get it.  And thank god for this, and this, and this and this and this and this.  Even though those moms don't even know me- they keep me sane.  Reading and writing proves that I'm not the only one!  Then, you need a blog to make you laugh.  Like this one.  Lord knows I know a lot about teaching, but not much about clothes.  Thanks to my sister- I can laugh AND learn!    I don't know if I would be human if I didn't talk about it.  Okay, I would be human, but I may look like this:

Yes- I'm not a chef.

Mason- 7 Months

Oh, Mason- I can't believe 7 months (and 8 days) have passed since you joined our little family!  You are the most happy, chubby, roll-filled, boy.  You are crawling (backwards only!) and you love your exersaucer.  Mackenzie absolutely loves making you laugh (how do you think we got this awesome shot of you?  You are so big, and I can't wait to see how you use your height to your advantage in the future (intimidating Mommy and Daddy better be out of the picture!).  You still love to eat (anything!)  and you sleep through the night.  We try to give you the nightcap bottle between 10-11 to keep you down until 8:00 or so (did I mention that you like to eat?)  I always struggle with taking your pictures on time, but the seven month pictures will be up soon!  Your laugh is hilarious- almost like a gasp for air.  I love watching you when we're out in the wind.  You can't catch your breath and you get all flustered.  It's so cute.  You are such a fun, mommy-loving boy. 

How Do We Do It?

How do you keep moving when you're exhausted, irritable and you feel like you can't keep going? I think you just have to deal. It's so much easier said than done, but eventually the pain will life, the sleep will come and things will get done. That's the only way I know- but every once in awhile, I get this feeling-bad-for-myself cloud stuck over my head when I'm really absorbed and I feel like the only person on the planet who has tried to take on all that I do. Of course, I do realize that I have voluntarily signed up for everything I have been dealt. I agree to be a working mom, to take on extra responsibilities at work, to have two beautiful kids (even if one doesn't sleep!) and try to keep the homes you see in magazines. Unfortunately, the last usually drops of the priority list along with sleep, but you see the point. Some days, you just don't.know.how.to.start.

So, today was definitely one of those days. Our school has had state tests for the last two weeks, and finished with report cards and conferences this week. To end the week, our team held a read-a-thon sleep over for the one hundred fifth graders we teach (yes, you read right- 100!) It was awesome, but required so much planning and time I think my husband wants to kill me. I'm also on the negotiations committee for our current employment contract and the meetings are long and mentally straining. After getting about 5 hours of sleep on Friday night (on a deflated air matress) I came home at 9:00 on Saturday morning to two bouncy-kids who were ready to run a marathon! All I wanted to do was crawl under the covers. I was okay mentally, but physically, I was dying for a few more hours of shut eye. Thankfully, my mother in law forced me to sleep for one additional hour before we prepared to drive an hour and half to a baby shower. I usually love family events and fun, but yesterday, it was everything I could do to keep my eyes open. I felt like I was being rude, no matter how hard I tried not to. I left and kept my eyes on the road during the commute home and crashed and burned by 8:30 last night.

I begged Mason to sleep- even if only for four hours in row, but somehow, he found a way to wake up at 11:00, 1:30, 3:00 and 5:30. Good times. I know babies are babies. I know the mommies with teenagers (or even older children) will tell you to cherish those moments- but when you're tired, you're bitter, and annoyed. I felt frustrated. With myself, with my baby, with my craptastic job of being a good mom. How do you sit a chair and rock at 3:00 am when you're beyond exhausted and soak in those moments? So, I awoke (barely) this morning to feeling hungover, annoyed and stressed out. My agenda included lesson plans, grocery shopping, cleaning out closets and maybe a walk. I have accomplished none of that. Thankfully, my mom agreed to take my duo for an hour and I got a massage. Hell yes! I do feel better- a lot actually, because right before I left, I was reading one of my favorite blogs, Momastery. Glennon asked her Monkies to read a post. Ya know how you read posts like this and automatically feel like a jerk? Yes- I do. But then I realized that I'm not a jerk, because I am lucky. I just need to take time in my hectic, self-imposed schedule to smell the roses. I am lucky I am alive. I am lucky to have two kids. I am lucky they are healthy. I am lucky to have a job. I am lucky to have a husband. I am lucky to have a house. I am lucky I can do what I want and choose to create a busy schedule for myself. So even though I feel overwhelmed, I need to remember how lucky I am.

We are all so lucky.

(Un)Prepared

I feel VERY unprepared about this baby. There's some kind of instinct inside that's pushing this, but I don't really know why. I know that at my 4- yes FOUR showers (one for work, one for me second job, and one for both my and my in-law's side of the family) that I will get MORE than enough stuff- but there's something that I still feel like I have to do. The thought that the only think I have in my house right now is a crib is just frightening.

I know- I've done it all, registered for the crap, even received two presents (that I haven't yet opened) and I even have the bedding already, but I still feel like I'm forgetting or skipping something. What could it be?

In other news- several of my friends are preggo- which I'm very happy about, because I know some of them have been trying for quite some time! :) Congratulations to them!

So really- what AM I missing (besides my brain of course!)