Friday, October 31, 2008

Back to the Grind...

So, I am back at it again. Time to move on. Reality is here whether I'm ready or not. The service was really nice. I was happy that so many of my grandmother's family and friends were able to attend. I'm going to post the movie to You Tube and I'll the post the link when I get it. I'm sitting on the couch waiting for trick or treaters. I'm hoping no babies come around. Go figure that there were FOUR, yes.... FOUR infants in my classroom for our party today. What is that all about?!!?!?!? Torture.... anyway, now that all the mania has subsided, I'm hoping that I'll be able to talk with Eric again soon. I don't know what his plan is with his job, his certification and his mind. Just haven't been together a lot lately with his work schedule, the Phillies, and my grandmother. We'll see though. Anyway, better get off my butt and wait for those kiddies!!


Wednesday, October 29, 2008


I'm off of work today preparing for the funeral. We have several family members staying with us and my house is a MESS from trying to get everything ready! I need to get cleaning so it looks decent by this afternoon. I also need to go grocery shopping so there's actually something to eat!

I made a really nice IMovie for my Grandmother. It's a slideshow of pictures from throughout her life. I'm very proud of myself. I'm also working on a program for the funeral. I hope that turns out well.

Well that's it for now.... I wish I were still in bed, but there's too much to do!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Rest in Peace....

My grandmother passed away last night at 7:15 pm. It was very peaceful and calm. She was surrounded by her family and friends and I felt a lot of closure being in the room when she left us. It was almost as if she waited for my cousin to get there and see her before she passed.

The funeral will be on Thursday, so I'm going to take off of work on Wednesday and Thursday. We have a lot of out of town family coming in, so I need to make sure we have the house in order, food and the slideshow for her viewing prepared.

On a different note, Eric got a ticket from his boss to the World Series game. He was very excited to go, and I hope he gets to see a win!

Just relaxing tonight- I am completely exhausted.....

We love you Gram!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Holding on...

My grandmother has slowly started slipping away. She was great yesterday morning, she was in physical therapy and had been doing well. My mom went and visited with her during lunch and she was looking forward to getting out over the weekend and on the road to recovery. Not even 30 minutes after she returned to work, the doctor called and informed my mom that she was experiencing congestive heart failure. She was put on a ventilator and they were trying their best. She has a living will and explained that she doesn't want to be on a respirator if anything of this nature was to happen. My mom, aunt and uncles has to tell the doctor last night to pull the plug on the respirator and let it be.

She's only on morphine and being giving oxygen. She will most likely pass soon, but it could take days before this happens. It depends on how long it takes for her body to give up. It is tearing my family apart. I feel so badly for my mom and the rest of the family. They are physically and mentally exhausted.

I am finally at peace with her going. My sister and I visited with my grandmother last night and said our goodbyes. I am happy because she had a wonderful life, loved her family and was an incredible grandmother. It's nice and peaceful to think of her with my grandfather again.

Although it's agonizing and exhausting, I am thankful for my family and friends.

I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


I'm just confused.... bothered.... frustrated... let down... sad. I'm not sure which adjective describes it best. This is the only time in my life besides getting married I've ever had to wait on someone else to make a decision. It's really hard when you disagree. The even harder thing is when you have no other option but to wait. So we're at it again. He's still not ready. The okay news is that I really honestly think I can get over that. I do. It will take time, but I do. But seriously, honestly, truthfully from the bottom of my heart think that he will never, ever, ever be ready.

He doesn't know what he wants. He doesn't want to sit at a desk all day, but doesn't want to be out and about. He doesn't want to work weekends, but wants to be in the golf business. He truly does not know. The funny thing is that that is what I love about him. I love that he doesn't make decisions and doesn't plan. And you wonder why I'm frustrated?

So, I realize that this is not the right time I guess.... but I still refuse to go back on the pill. I don't feel like screwing with my body again. He can take care of it if that's what he actually does know that he wants.

But what do I want? If I can't have what I want.... then I want time.... to be alone... and deal.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Pray for Grammie!!!

So.... I got the phone call tonight that Grammie's oxygen levels were dropping. My mom was very worried that the doctor said she might not make it through the night so my sister and I headed over to the hospital and met everyone there. When we went in, I expected to see my grandmother lifeless and out of it. I was wrong. She was wearing an oxygen mask, but she sure was with it! Although her levels were low, after a while on the oxygen, she started to stabilize. I was glad to see her that way. Although she looked good, the doctor was still a bit nervous until she gets to dialysis tomorrow. They made sure to check her living will, which was depressing, but necessary.

All in all, things are shaky, but I'm glad I went to the hospital even though I was there yesterday. I will be sure to update tomorrow when I have more news.... in the meantime, please say a prayer....

Thursday, October 16, 2008

No Shots?

So I went to the Doctor last night for the Gardasil Cervical Cancer vaccine. When I arrived, I sat nervously in the waiting room wondering if it was okay to get this knowing that I hadn't had my period yet. So, when I went in, they asked when the date of my last period was, and I explained.... so, then the Doctor came in and told me that she didn't feel comfortable giving me the shot, so I had to go home and come back if I get my period.... fine, I completely understand..... but now I'm psychotic!!! I just wish it would be one way or the other already!!! I'd really like to either get on with my life, or contain my excitement and get on with pregnancy. I poas again last night and nothing, but then again that's why the Doctor wouldn't give me a test.... because it's too early. Some spotting yesterday, but it was really light and now it was gone.... keep your fingers crossed!

My aunt and uncle are coming this weekend for my grandmother. It should be nice to see everyone.

Wear your PHILLIES spirit today!!! WORLD SERIES!!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Picture Day!

So today is picture day..... blagh!!! I hate waiting around all day to get my picture taken. It gives you the same feeling that you had in a elementary school where you get all nervous that something is out of place, yadda, yadda, yadda. Anyway, I took my niece and nephew out to dinner with my parents and me last night. It was fun.

My grandmother is doing a bit better. She still has some tests to go through, but the dialysis is helping her clean out her body.

Class and the Dr. tonight.... Dentist tomorrow.... man I'm busy!

Monday, October 13, 2008


My grandmother started dialysis for her failing kidneys today. The implanted the shunt in her neck and she will likely be on dialysis for 3 days/week for the rest of her life. Because of the time and involvement this causes (4 hours at a time!) she cannot go home. Although this may sound like bad news, it's not. She's not really that great at taking care of herself anymore and nor should she. She will be at Brandywine Assisted Living which is basically like a fabulous resort so that she'll enjoy her life and my mom can rest easy at night. We're hoping everything works just as planned.

My sister and I did yoga and meditation tonight. It was very different than I'm used to. I liked parts and couldn't focus like I was supposed to during other parts. The yoga was definitely hard.

Anyway, that's it for now.... I'll keep you updated about everything when something happens.... but for now we wait.... and meditate!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Life.... and Grammie

My grandmother's in the hospital. We've known for a little while now that something was just not right, but she's refused to go to the doctor. My uncle finally convinced her to go on Tuesday and the doctor informed us that she's in the beginning phases of Alzheimer's. She often is forgetful, and has the same conversation over and over, so we weren't that surprised. On Friday, she was sent for bloodwork. My mom took her in the morning and dropped her off at home (she still lives by herself!) and did not even make it home before the doctor called and said that my grandmother was experiencing kidney failure. He asked my mom to take her to the hospital as soon as possible. She's been in there since Friday afternoon and will need dialysis for her failing kidneys. I'm not completely sure what's going on, but they're still running tests. I feel really bad for my mom because I know how much stress and sadness this is causing her. She's basically watching her mom deteriorate. My grandfather died suddenly, but not painfully, and never had to suffer. I sometimes feel like although my grandmother may not know what's happening, she's still suffering. So, she's still in the hospital, and the family is working on a potential plan for her discharge. I'm hoping that she won't be sent home alone. That's too much for everyone to deal with. But if she's going somewhere, immediate arrangements must be made.... it's just very crazy.

Work was okay today. It's beautiful out, so we were somewhat busy. It's nice to get a paycheck, and I know I have to suck it up, because in the winter, I won't have any extra money. I'm excited that I'm starting tutoring on Tuesday, so I'll be generating some extra cash. It's nice to have around!

We're heading to New Jersey tonight to see Eric's parents. It should be nice. His parents love it when we come, and we never come home with an empty trunk! (I have enough water, towels and toilet paper for the next six years!)

Have a good night- I'll update you on Grammie tomorrow! Thanks for your thoughts and prayers!

Friday, October 10, 2008


HELLO FRIDAY- I have been waiting for you for a VERY long time! I'm really looking forward to the 4:00 hour though, not this 8:00 crap that it is now....

So, tonight, laying low I suppose. Tomorrow will be super busy! I have to go to the Y, go to a Tastefully simple party, in part to see my friend that I haven't seen in FOREVER, then a pig roast and then since Eric's going to the Flyers game with my brother in law, I'm stuck hanging out with my sister all night... how terrible... haha I'm just saying that because I know she'll read this. I'm looking forward to a "down" weekend. Then, I have to work on Sunday, but we might go visit Eric's parents after work.

So, my team is trying to decide what to do for Halloween. We can't think of a good idea.... there's 10 of us.... two men, eight women.... any ideas? Yeah, I didn't think so. My friend Liz is going to be a kangaroo and her daughter is going to be her Joey.... um yeam, probably the mostcustestadorable idea EVER. And, her mom is making the costume. Doesn't sound like anything like that would ever happen in my family. I can sew buttons and that's about it.... my mom's genes didn't include the sewing trait.... but, that's okay by me.

Well, off to start my day.... I've got my Phillies shirt on.... and I even ironed Eric's Phillies golf shirt- aren't we the best Phans ever?

Have a WONDERFUL day :)

Thursday, October 9, 2008


So my observation was perfect.... I mean- there are always things that I know I can improve on, but I think it went really well. My kids were very well behaved, asked interesting questions and it seemed like I scripted them with the answers I wanted (even though I didn't!) I was very pleased. So, I meet with my principal tomorrow, but she gave me a heads up that it would take long because I am so awesome, just kidding, but seriously, because she was pleased. Yay- that much closer to tenure!

Anyway, I'm going to try to get a run in outside since it's BEAUTIFUL out! I can't wait to get out of this classroom!

Perhaps I'll be in a bit of a posting mood tonight- GO PHILS!

My Friends

If John McCain uses the term "My friends" in another interview or town hall meeting, I might just stop watching TV altogether....

Anyway, my friends, things are going well. I've been able to focus more on my job and being a good teacher. I asked to be observed today, so I'll be teaching all afternoon, as opposed to my student teacher, who will be thankful of the relief. So, I've taken to becoming an obsessive cleaner. Last night I was on my hands and knees in the closet trying to sort through things.... I'm pretty sure my husband things I'm psychotic. Some times I'm actually convinced that he's right.

Well, my whole wheat bagel is finished in the toaster oven.... I assume no one else is going to put the peanut butter on it for me! Better get to work!

Have a wonderful day :)

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

No More Violations!!!

Yay, my blog is FINALLY free again! No more blocks! Apparently a spam robot tagged my blog as spam, so it was locked. I had to write to Blogger to have them review it and lift the block.... glad to be back in the blogging world again :)

No new news..... just a cleaning freak tonight!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Another Day...

Yesterday, we had a garage sale in our neighborhood. I think that it's safe to say we made out pretty well. I sold a little under $100 and my sister mom and I made over $360 combined. I was just happy to clean out the basement! I was shocked at how many people came. There was one very cute visitor! Elizabeth and her baby Reiley came looking for some stuff and it was so nice to see them.

Last night, I went to a party after Brew Fest, which I was happy I didn't attend (I don't think I have the liver for that anymore!)

Back at work today at my second job. I'm trying to stash away some money. Not sure what I'm saving for, but I guess it's still worth saving.... I'll think of something soon!

Eric' s leaving tonight for a tournament down the shore.... I hate sleeping alone :(

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

A New Blog...

I've decided to open a new blog since it's finally time that I change my email on Gmail.

Make sure you bookmark it!!!

Vacation From Life

Have you ever felt like you needed a vacation from life? I feel like I just want to run away sometimes. It feels like everything always comes crashing down at once. I don't know why I feel so overwhelmed and confused. On top of all that, it's not helping me be a good friend to others, which really bothers me.

Just gotta keep my chin up.... this too will pass.